look at this fucking stupid snake

a python was feeling extra selfish and decided to swallow an entire alligator.
shortly thereafter, this happened.fail.
yes, we realize you are quite a large snake but you typically should avoid ingesting things that are almost your exact same size, dumbass.

look at this fucking majestic goose

soar, goose, soar to warmer climates!
but if you shit on my coat i will kick you right in the tender goose testicles.

look at this fucking adorable devil

It's a Tasmanian Devil, and it will eat your face.

look at this fucking glorious eagle

this Harpy Eagle probably shits excellence.

look at this fucking dick nose monkey

hey, it's Gonzo!
Actually it's called a proboscis monkey, but i can still laugh at it.

look at this fucking courageous dog

this dog is missing half of it's limbs, and did it ask for a wheelchair?
no, it learned how to walk like a human.
win.
courtesy of a colleague and fellow animal enthusiast.

look at this fucking genius cow

good job.

look at this fucking crafty octopus

the list of octopus skills sounds like that of a secret agent.
jet propulsion, ink-screen defense, active camouflage, ability to squeeze into impossibly small spaces, advanced problem solving and tool use.
and people are afraid of space aliens?
the real threat is probably hiding in your coconut.

look at this fucking miserable ostrich

it can't even fly.
at least penguins can swim.
ostriches can't do shit.
oh they run fast?
big deal, so can a cheetah.
what now, ostrich?

look at these fucking sloppy tits

look her boobs are all saggy. holy shit that's a human and she's nursing a monkey! that's fucked up! many humans won't nurse their own children of the same species, and this bitch is providing delicious nutrition to a primate. way to go, indigenous lady. you make most of the USA look bad.

look at this fucking deformed goat

you disgust me, but apparently the girl goats think you're hot stuff.

look at this fucking zonkey

not only do your appearances confuse me mr. crossbreed. but you have a funny name. apparently you can breed a zebra with anything to instigate humor. cheers zonkey.

look at this fucking inter-species make-out session

how much did these dogs have to pay so they could play tonsil hockey with some horny dolphins?

look at this fucking boring meerkat

We don't feed you to sit around at the brooklyn zoo all day. Get up and entertain me you dick.

-sent from Motorola Droid

look at this fucking gorgeous bird

in most earth animal species, the male is the colorful one because he is trying to attract a female to spread his seed.
i should start wearing iridescent blue more often.
i also love that the male is a peacock, and the female is a peahen.
terrible names. thanks, science.

look at this fucking kitty wheelchair

you may be a cute and cuddly kitty but after watching enough sci fi in my day, i don't trust shit that breathes and has wheels attached to it.

look at this fucking jerk kangaroo

where's the referee?

look at this fucking happy fish

happy because it knows if you try to eat it, you will get a mouthful of puffer fish spikes.

look at these fucking lazy cats

look at this fucking unicorn shark

okay. im just kidding, its a goblin shark. but shit, it can officially stab me and eat me? im outta there.

look at this fucking cute rodent

eat all the broccoli you want, mister rodent, for you are fucking adorable.

look at this fucking lazy dog

ew her legs are so long. get off the couch!

look at this fucking hairless bear

bears apparently lose ALL of their visual appeal when they start inexplicably shedding that soft coat.
photo courtest of national geographic

look at this fucking terrified human

If you've made it to this underkept and newly founded blog, then you've officially reached the end of the internets. You've stumbled through all the porn, shitty flash banners, and weather reports you could ever ask for. So what does the end of the internet look like? It looks like this. LOOK AT THIS FUCKING CREATURE! The following posts and updates will be of every animal that this world is saving up against us to create entire mindfuckage.

Lets start: LOOK AT THIS FUCKING CREATURE -- no im not talking about the damn thing with its head in the window. Look at that kids face! WTF.