look at this fucking majestic goose

soar, goose, soar to warmer climates!
but if you shit on my coat i will kick you right in the tender goose testicles.

look at this fucking glorious eagle

this Harpy Eagle probably shits excellence.

look at this fucking miserable ostrich

it can't even fly.
at least penguins can swim.
ostriches can't do shit.
oh they run fast?
big deal, so can a cheetah.
what now, ostrich?

look at this fucking gorgeous bird

in most earth animal species, the male is the colorful one because he is trying to attract a female to spread his seed.
i should start wearing iridescent blue more often.
i also love that the male is a peacock, and the female is a peahen.
terrible names. thanks, science.